Calculator

It took me a while on the phone to realize the customer's son so called "calculator" was actually a PlayStation Portable.  I'm pretty sure the PSP doesn't have a calculator utility....

Revers3 PSychology

Yesterday I had a call from a client stating she just purchased a brand new PlayStation3 console and wasn’t reading any discs. 

First thing that I usually ask when I hear these problems is if she's inserting the disc right side up (yes.. some people still insert discs shiny side up, but hey that’s pretty much usual procedure for us).  She insisted that she was inserting the disc label side up though.  I cringed and couldn't quite believe that a PS3 was faulty out of the box as this rarely happened.  So anyways, I told her she should pass by to check if anything was wrong with the console, and change it with a new one if this was defective.

Today she came to my office, unpacked the box, and put the console on my desk… upside down.

Number Change

Although this isn't actually a customer... I received an SMS message from a new number... and thought I would share this.. 

Why am I surrounded by idiots?

Crystal Clear

A customer passed by the shop this morning, complaining that he purchased an LCD earlier this week, but his picture isn't as clear as the one we have on display. He stated that we are 'tricking' customers in buying these TVs as these aren't as clear as they are in the shop once you connect them at home. I told him there's no gimmick as we have Blu-Ray films playing here in crystal clear 1080p... but I was promptly interrupted by the client's angry voice... 'YEAH OK... AND I HAVE AN AERIAL RECEPTION, SO WHAT??

Elle See Dee

I love it when customers believe they are clever by asking something technical but eventually get the wording all wrong.  Just had one asking for an 'LSD 100HD'.

Terms of Agreement?

Here's another example of a typical dumbass client:

A client called in this morning, panicking that she bought a game 'Mario Kart Super Galaxys 2', as soon she inserted the disc in the console many 'letters' came up, ending with an "I Agree" button. She was baffled whether or not she should press the button. o_0

Eventually, I persuaded her to press the god damn button, as if it would self-destruct the console if she did the wrong move.  She told me that there is another problem though after that.. her exact words were: "What shall I do now? It's telling me to Please Wait!!"

I hung up...

Top Up

A customer just used the word 'top up' in reference to a chipped/bricked/modded PlayStation 2 Console.

Example: "Don't worry about it, my PS2 isn't topped up!"

PS3 Changer

A client came with a PlayStation 3 console worried that the machine is not working and not reading any discs. He also stated that a disc is stuck inside and he couldn't eject it.

I switched on the mistreated console, pushed the eject button, nothing happened, so I decided to dig in and pull out the disc manually. About 20 minutes later, with the help of a ruler laying on my desk, I managed to eject a total of 7 different Barney DVDs.

Record!

Hejch Dee

A client phoned a colleague of mine. He was complaining that he bought an HDMI cable, connected it, and picture still remained the same.

After a minute or two on the phone, my colleague asked how he connected the HDMI cable. Apparently, he connected one end to the LCD and the other end hung up on the wall so his reception would come in High Def... Awesome!

Imodium

I had a client phone call asking for help regarding a network connection problem.

Me: Hello, how can I help you
Client: I bought a device, I'm trying to connect to the internet but no luck.
M: Any errors?
C: No, I'm just trying to set it up from scratch. My Internet provider just brought over the Imodium.

Smoothi3

I received a call from a client complaining that an option from the menu of the PlayStation 3 was not working correctly. I asked the client what the problem is; he told me that he switched the PS Smoothing option to 'on' (which basically makes the older PlayStation Games a bit smoother), but the cooling fan is still loud and noisy.

Confusing city :s

besst emejl aver

Here's another email I received.. I'm gonna print screen this since blogger is kind enough to fix spacing.

Wii-Mail Query

Client seems drastically elaborate:

"Hi i'm interested in being a wii but have a couple of questions and i don't know if u can help me. So

1) what is the Ersion?

2) what is it's format? I mean is it Pal or NTSC. In case it's Pal will it except games for NTSC or is it region locked?

3)The processor is it IBM Broadway or IBM Power Pc?

4) Product MPN is it RVLSFSP or RVLSWC

thanks a lot"

err.... not gonna reply

Wii Pwotectiv Covews

This is actually how a Wiimote came in last week... I'm liking the Jacket design better this way ;P

Bull Terrier vs PSP

Religion Distribution

1 - Islam
2 - Christianity
3 - Judaism
4 - Hinduism
5 - Buddhism
6 - Non-religious

As you can see from the Map above; the Religion Distribution is quite complicated hence this is why you should always purchase a Multi-Religion DVD Player.

Sunburned

Client came in with a PSP that he said "got damaged when he left it under a spotlight". Check out the photos:

Giving Up

I hate it...

when I have to give up on a client just so he/she can state he/she is right (although he/she is so so SOOOOO wrong) before leaving (most likely without doing a purchase).

This happens a lot in my work place, say today; A client asked me about a specific game which its release date is still unknown as of today. The client kept on rambling that he's 100% sure that the game is out (damn you teasers!) and he was not determined to leave until I agreed with him. I have proof, I know I'm right but I also know things could get worse if I disagree, so eventually...

...I give up and let him win... again :(

I hate it...

No. 1 Resident Evil Fan!!

This happened to me some time ago...

A guy came to my office for some small setting on his PS2 and while we were talking he asked me if any new Resident Evil game is coming out. I told him the next installment will be on PS3 next year. He said that he was the BIGGEST Resident Evil fan in the country, he kept saying that he played all games, bla bla bla... and continued babbling for around 15 min.

As I am a Resident Evil fan, I asked him "Did you like Resident Evil 4?"
He promptly replied "Oh my God! There's a Resident Evil 4?"
I answered "It came out almost 2 years ago!"

Hello? Hello??

A lady bought a cordless phone from us last week. The next day she came complaining that her phone wasn't working. We checked it out and found that it was working properly.

The next day she showed up again and ended up arguing with my boss. They decided that the best thing to do is to send someone at her house.

The 'repair guy' connected the phone and when he picked up the handset and dialed a number he heard a message on the phone:
"Please top-up your EasyLine account to make further calls."

Date Of Birth Please

I recently had a call from a customer that needed some help with his console registration. Once a console is registered (via Serial Number) on their official website, goodies, newsletters and 'points' are given to the user.

The registration usually asks for the User details. The client was confused whether he should type in his actual Date of Birth or the Console's Date of Birth.

Apparently he was going to enter today's date as the console was 'born' today.

Cover Version

Don't ever ask for a Book, DVD, Game, etc... by describing what the cover looks like. Just had a client asking for a PS2 game 'which has a guy holding a gun on the cover'. ¬_¬
Results: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 etc...

Jesus!? Is it that hard to remember a frikin' title?

Bleurgh!!

A Stimulating Conversation

This happened to Matthew a little time ago. He was approached by a little kid accompanied by his father to enquire about a game.

Little kid: Hello, would you happen to have the game 'Stimulator' for PC?
Matthew: Erm... ~_~'
Little kid's father: Shhhh, what are you saying, not 'Stimulator'... 'Flight Stimulator' for PC.
Matthew: (trying to hold in the laughter) I'm sorry sir, we're out of 'Stimulators' right now.

Update Misinterpratation

I'm having loads of clients lately with games that freeze on their system. This is frequently solved with a simple automatic update which any console does when connected online, but a client usually misinterprets what an update really is. Here is a simple example:

Client: I have this PS3 and when I play a game normally say 'Assassin's Creed'... at certain times it freezes.
Me: Is your console connected to the Internet?
Client: No.
Me: No problem its just a simple update sir, I'll do it myself for you.
Client: Update? What's that? I just purchased this 2 weeks ago and you're telling me it's already out-of-date? You should be ashamed of yourself!
Me: Sir, updates are important to keep the console "Healthy" and always up to date with latest software. Also you can have more features in your console.
Client: But I still don't understand how this 'thing' does not have the latest update. In my opinion your company is not professional; You're importing expired stuff.
Me: The update got released this week...
Client: Whatever... hurry since I have my car double parked!

*me bangs head against wall*

Why-Her-Less

This happened to Matt (a colleague) and me this morning while trying to sell his friend an HDMI Cable for her PS3.

Matt: Here's the cable you needed.
Her: Oh, so this is for the wireless internet?
Matt & Me: >.>  <.<

PSP Tech Support

A client came to my office this morning complaining about a PSP problem:

Client: I have a problem with my PSP!!
Me: What's the problem?
Client: When I connect to the power supply, this works fine, but as soon as I take off the charger it goes off.
Me: Weird. Let's check it out... The battery is not here sir.
Client: PSP has a battery?

Progress?! What be that?!

This occured in April '07 close to the PlayStation 3 Launch.

Me: Hello, how can I help you?
Client: I'd like some information on the PS3 please.
Me: Sure thing, next-gen PlayStation, Blu-Ray, HDD, Internet, bla bla bla... Backwards Compatibility.
Client: Oh, it takes PS2 and PS1 games also?!
Me: Yep.
Client: So the PS2 takes PS3 games also?
Me: No, Sir. PS2 games work on the PS3.
Client: What do you mean they don't work on the PS2?!
Me: Exactly what I said. Why would they release a PS-T-H-R-E-E if the games were compatible with the PS2?
Client: Oh that's bullshit! They are just making fun of people! Why wouldn't PS3 games work on a PS2?!
Me: But its much more powerful technology, the PS2 couldn't handle the games AT ALL.
Client: Oh don't give me these excuses, they just want to make more money off of people's backs!
Me: (trying to explain as calmly as I can what's the difference between the two)
Client: This is a travesty bla bla bla... bla.
Me: Yes! You're right! I totally understand your point. They're all thieves! Probably if you try to put a PS3 game in a PS2 it would work if not for some trickery from Sony!
Client: I'm glad we're seeing eye to eye on this matter. You should tell your boss about it!
Me: Yes Sir, I'll let him know immediately.
Client: Thanks, bye.
Me: Cheers!

(.__ .

Nintendo Why: Mark II

Apart from the 'Nintendo Why(?)' one can also refer to the console as 'Nintendo Wi-Fi'. Yup... you heard it hear first... Nintendo Wi-Fi!

Dark Cream Furniture

A client just asked me for a game called Unkarted: Dark Furniture... beh
Later.. I received a phone from a client asking if we have any stock left of 'Assassins Cream'


I'm feeling today will be one of those days :/

Sense-Axis

Since I have some free time, I can post some info on the PS3's SixAxis Technology before I describe what exactly happened:

"A major feature of the controller is the ability to sense both rotational orientation and translational acceleration along all three dimensional axes, providing six degrees of freedom. Sony announced that because of the included motion sensors, the vibration feature of previous PlayStation controllers was removed, stating that the vibration would interfere with motion-sensing. That statement was proven false less than a year later, with the announcement of the DualShock 3."

Now here's a telephone conversation I was involved in, that just ended:
Client: My Controller isn't working properly.
Me: What's the problem exactly?
Client: [Problem Here]
Me: [Solution Here]
Client: Thanks for helping out, one last thing; I heard you are currently selling the DualShock 3 Controllers.
Me: Yes we do, they are currently at €[Price Here].
Client: Does it still have Sixth-Sense?

¬_¬

Notebooks vs Laptops

Client: Can you help us out with some Laptops please?
Me: Sure... we got this [Specs Here], this [Specs Here] and also this
Client: But these arn't Laptops, these are Notebooks!
Me: er... I'm sorry?
Client: These are Notebooks! I'm not searching for Notebooks. Do you have any Laptops?
Me: Erm.... I'm really sorry sir but we only stock Notebooks

Déjà vu

As I was editing my new, cool and hip Avatar on Paint.net, a 7-Year old boy with his hood still on rushes in, pauses in the middle of the store, looks around, then shouts 'Did I come here?' with a confused look.

We couldn't help but laugh out loud.

Genji

One of the many words which is hard to pronounce apparently is Genji.
Pronounced incorrectly: 'Jen-yi'
Not just your standard Samurai... Genius Samurai's!

Introduction

So here we go…

As a sales representative, I deal with tons and tons of clients. Here, I list the dumb stuff I usually come across at work. This may be updated daily, monthly or yearly, depending on the average idiotic customer. Unless I get promoted (yeah right) or fired (more like it), I’ll make sure I’ll keep a log of every single idiotic event I’ll experience. This can start from the now then famous ‘Nintendo Why’; to a client showing me his/her thumb and index finger as a reply after I inquired what Memory Card size he/she wants.

A post may contain a minimum of one phrase (or quote) to an entire conversation (no real names will be mentioned). I usually don’t keep any logs of any events, but I am willing to keep this as something to look back in the future. I hope I don’t offend anyone (read disclaimer on the right), remember:

The Customer Is Always Right (unfortunately)